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Book Recap Series: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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These book recap series posts are simply my way of jotting down important takeaways from the book.

The books I have decided to focus on are topics that are of interest to me including personal finance, wealth building, business management, leadership, investing, and real estate. If you have business book recommendations, reach out to me on Twitter or Instagram @omgmymoney or contact me.

You can see the list of the book recap series at the bottom of this post. Check the business book recommendations section for a list of all the books.

Part One: Fundamentals Techniques in Handling People

Chapter 1: “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”

  • It is foolish to scold. [OMG My Money commentary] I do not have kids, but I think this applies to any relationship whether personal or professional. If you have a team, then you should know that scolding or putting an employee down for making a mistake no matter how costly is never the right way approach this situation.
  • 99 times out of 100, people don’t criticize themselves for anything no matter how wrong it may be. [OMG My Money commentary] the more self aware you are, the more you realize when you are wrong. It is about swallowing that pride and giving acknowledgment.
  • Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. [OMG My Money commentary] when it comes to managing a team and providing feedback, I have not once felt that criticizing an employee or team member is the solution. Rather I have found providing feedback in a positive/optimistic manner, understanding learnings, and finding a resolution (or solution) is the best approach.
  • By criticizing we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment
  • As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation
  • The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members, and friends and still not correct the situation that has been condemned. [OMG My Money commentary] this is so true. Criticism can be very de-motivating. Criticism can make the other person less confident and trigger a habit of questioning oneself because now that person is concerned about the what-ifs. The focus now shifts from the task on hand to things that might not ever happen.
  • Criticisms are like homing pigeons, they always return home. [OMG My Money commentary] what goes around comes around. If you would not criticize or talk bad about the person to their face, then do not do it at all.
  • Let’s realize that the person we’re going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself and condemn us in return. [OMG My Money commentary] some people will naturally get defensive. in the beginning of my career, I was more defensive in getting criticized. I realized as I have grown in my career and leading a team along the way that it is the manager’s job to make the team or team member feel comfortable with what is being said.
  • Sharp criticisms and rebukes almost invariably end in futility
  • Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean. [OMG My Money commentary] some people will never mind their own business when they themselves do not have their shit together.
  • When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic, we are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices motivated by pride and vanity
  • Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do, but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. [OMG My Money commentary] if you have led a team, then you know the importance of patience and understanding. The important action step is to make sure it does not happen again by working together on a solution based on the learnings gained.
  • Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them, let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness.
  • To know all is to forgive all
  • Principle One: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain

Chapter 2: The Big Secret of Dealing with People

  • There is only one way of getting anybody to do anything and that is making the other person want to do it. Remember there is no other way. [OMG My Money commentary] one of the most common interview questions I ask and also receive is how to convince other teams to do what you want them to do. The high level answer is to make sure you speak from their point of view and how this task benefits them and their team.
  • The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important
  • The desire for the feeling of importance is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals
  • The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else than so kills the ambition of a person as criticism from superiors
  • Anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. [OMG My Money commentary] I personally have never found any success by criticizing. This can be difficult to do, but when you understand the big goal of what you want the long term outcome to be, you will realize that praising and providing encouragement will yield much more positive results.
  • In the long run, flattery will do you more harm than good. Flattery is counterfeit and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else
  • The difference between appreciation and flattery, one is sincere, the other is insincere. One comes from the heart out, the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish, the other is selfish. One is universally admired, the other universally condemned. [OMG My Money commentary] this was an eye opener. Seems like common sense, but when I read this on paper, it did open my eyes about the differences between appreciation and flattery. When it comes to my team, I focus on genuine appreciation.
  • Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you, be afraid of the friends who flatter you
  • That’s all flattery is, cheap praise
  • Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself
  • Hunger for appreciation, it is the legal tender that all souls enjoy. [OMG My Money commentary] when it comes to managing a team, showing genuine appreciation goes much further than one might think. I have received numerous pings, DMs, emails from team members who appreciated giving public acknowledgement and praise while taking zero credit for myself. This benefit goes beyond any monetary awards.
  • Hurting people not only does not change them, it is never called for
  • Every man I meet is my superior in some way in that I learn of him. [OMG My Money commentary] One vivid example I have of never judging a book by its cover and understanding that I can learn from anyone is during college. I played club racquetball and the team registered for a tournament to warm us up for the upcoming intercollegiate schedule. My first round opponent was to be a 60 something year old gentleman who seemed like he could not move. As a cocky 20 something, I went in assuming I would wipe the court with this man. I was relaxed and joking with my teammates. I had never been or felt so embarrassed on a sporting event until that match. I lost 15-0, 15-1 and I was a decent player or so I thought. He kicked my ass so quickly that he was willing to spend a few minutes giving me tips on why he kicked my ass so quickly. This is how I began my journey of being a lifelong learner and never making assumptions about who I am talking to. This simple experience has helped me on the tennis court and professionally.
  • Let’s try to figure out the other person’s good points then forget flattery, give honest sincere appreciation. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise and people will cherish your words and treasure them
  • Principle Two: Give honest sincere appreciation

Chapter 3: “He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who Cannot Walks a Lonely Way”

  • Why talk about what we want, that’s childish and absurd. Of course you’re interested in what you want, you are internally interested in it, but no one else is. We are interested in what we want
  • The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
  • If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own. [OMG My Money commentary] this is the answer to one of the most asked interview questions in my experience and when dealing with people. I have had countless successes by not talking about myself, but trying to talk from the other person’s point of view.
  • People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them
  • Looking at the other’s point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit and his detriment. Each party should gain from the negotiation. [OMG My Money commentary] the goal when going into these type of conversations is of course for your own benefit, but when you take a step back and also position this as a win for the other side, it changes how you approach the conversation let alone your tone.
  • When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it as ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves. They will then regard it as their own. They will like it. [OMG My Money commentary] there have been times when I have had team meetings in which we might be throwing solution ideas to a problem and the solution we chose ended up being my original idea. When you take a step back and let your team take the conversation further, the team completely buys into that idea. What I have done is I will then position this idea as an idea from one of my team members because although I might have mentioned the idea in the first place, the team member took the idea to the next level and did the hard work or heavy lifting to implement.
  • First arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way
  • Principle Three: Arouse in the other person an eager want

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Chapter 1: Do This and You’ll Be Welcome Anywhere

  • You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you
  • People are not interested in you, they are not interested in me, they are interested in themselves
  • One can win the the attention and time and cooperation of even the most sought after people by becoming genuinely interested in them. [OMG My Money commentary] I think most of us are inherently interested in ourselves; we tend to be selfish. This is still a struggle for me to certain degrees, but I do keep in mind this principle of being genuinely interested in the person you are talking to. This has also helped me greatly in those awkward bar settings to start conversations.
  • Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company
  • If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind
  • Principle One: Become genuinely interested in other people

Chapter 2: A Simple Way to Make a Good First Impression

  • The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back. [OMG My Money commentary] if you have heard of the resting bitch face, then you know how much of an impact this has. We all have the RBF. For me it is how much I want to fake the outward appearance.
  • Actions speak louder than words and a smile says, I like you, you make me happy, I’m glad to see you
  • People who smile tend to manage, teach, and sell more effectively and to raise happier children
  • There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.
  • The effect of a smile is powerful even when its unseen. Your smile comes through in your voice. [OMG My Money commentary] I have never worked in a call center, but I read that some of the high performing businesses require the customer service rep to smile while talking. I try to do this when I am on calls no matter the situation, but especially when I am on a call with my team or project teams.
  • Force yourself to smile, if you’re alone force yourself to whistle or hum a tune or sing. Act as if you’re already happy and that will tend to make you happy. [OMG My Money commentary] this is extremely tough for me to do, but I have learned that this is needed especially when it comes to my professional life as well as certain scenarios of my side hustles (sports cards, real estate).
  • Actions seem to follow feelings, but really action and feeling go together
  • Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. [OMG My Money commentary] mind your own business and do not care about what others think of you; it is a complete waste of time and unnecessarily increases pressure and stress.
  • Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude. The attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create.
  • A man without a smiling face must not open a shop. Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it
  • Nobody needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give
  • Principle Two: Smile

Chapter 3: If You Don’t Do This, You Are Headed For Trouble

  • The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. Remember that name and call it easily and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment, but forget it or misspell it and you’ve placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage. [OMG My Money commentary] as I meet more and more people in the various settings I get pulled into whether it is my work or any of my side hustles, I do my best to remember names and not just faces. I am really good with faces (even with masks!), but remembering names especially of those who I only see once a month or less frequent is tough.
  • People are so proud of their names that they strive to perpetuate them at any cost
  • One of the simplest, most obvious, and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important. [OMG My Money commentary] this is one of my 2021-2022 goals. However, it feels very awkward to ask for someone’s name if you have seen them more than once a month over the past several months to a year. Any tips on how to approach this awkward situation is appreciated.
  • We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize the single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else
  • The name sets the individual apart. It makes him or her unique among all others
  • Principle Three: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language

Chapter 4: An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist

  • Exclusive attention to the person who is speaking to you is very important. Nothing else is so flattering as that. [OMG My Money commentary] one easy way of giving attention to the person who is speaking to me is eye contact. I also try not to think of what I am going to say next and instead focus on the person in front of me. I used to drown out the noise of the person speaking so I could think of what to ask next, but I realized from experience that the more you focus on the person, the more you will naturally come up with the next question, story, or statement. No need to overthink here.
  • Many people fail to make a favorable impression because they don’t listen attentively. They had been so much concern with what they’re going to say next, they do not keep their ears open. [OMG My Money commentary] I have done this to avoid any awkward silences after the other person finished speaking. However, I have learned over and over again that as you actually listen to the person talking to you and genuinely being interested in that person, you will naturally come up with things to say.
  • If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here’s the recipe, never listen to anyone for long, talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don’t wait for him or her to finish, burst right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence
  • People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves and those people who think only of themselves are hopelessly uneducated
  • If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener, to be interested, ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering, encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. Remember the people you are talking to are 100 times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems. [OMG My Money commentary] I have come to realize that as much as I want to share my own stories, I find it much easier to continue having interesting conversations if I simply ask more about the other person. What naturally tends to happen is that the other person will begin to ask questions about me.
  • Principle Four: Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves

Chapter 5: How to Interest People

  • The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most. [OMG My Money commentary] when I see a person’s eyes, tone, demeanor light up when I hit a certain topic, I focus on that topic. This does not always work, but when I do catch on, I tend to focus on that. This leads to that person remembering this conversation and strengthening the relationship.
  • Principle Five: Talk in terms of the other person’s interests

Chapter 6: How to Make People Like You Instantly

  • Always make the other person feel important
  • Almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way and a sure way to their heart is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance and recognize it sincerely. [OMG My Money commentary] I learned early on to never judge a book by its cover. I always assume I can learn something from any individual I meet.
  • Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for ours
  • Principle Six: Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

Chapter 1: You Can’t Win an Argument

  • There is only one way to get the best of an argument and that is to avoid it
  • 9 times out of 10 an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right
  • You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well suppose you triumph over the other men and shoot his arguments full of holes and then what? You will feel fine, but what about him? You’ve made him feel inferior. You’ve hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph and a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. [OMG My Money commentary] I absolutely love this. I read every word carefully and hope you do the same.
  • You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument, but as far as changing another’s mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong
  • How to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument. Welcome the disagreement. Remember the slogan, when two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary
  • If there’s some point you haven’t thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake
  • Be careful, Keep calm. Watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst not your best
  • Control your temper. Remember you can measure the size of the person by what makes him or her angry. [OMG My Money commentary] this is the easiest one for me as I have matured, gone through my own experiences, and grown as a person.
  • Listen first. Give your opponents a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend, or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. [OMG My Money commentary] when the other party is dead set on their opinion, which happens a lot, then I let it go. As competitive as I am, I want to make sure the relationship continues and if I were to argue my point or against the other person’s point until there is a winner, then no one wins.
  • Look for areas of agreement. When you have heard your opponents out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree. Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit error and say so. Apologize for your mistakes. It will help disarm your opponents and reduce defensiveness.
  • Principle One: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it

Chapter 2: A Sure Way of Making Enemies – and How to Avoid It

  • If you’re going to prove anything, don’t let anybody know it. Do it so subtlety that no one will feel that you are doing it
  • There’s magic in such phrases as, “I may be wrong I frequently am, let’s examine the facts”
  • You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. [OMG My Money commentary] the keyword here is that you MAY be wrong. This still opens up the possibility that you may actually be right, but you are disarming the other person.
  • Don’t argue with your customer or your spouse or your adversary. Don’t tell them they are wrong. Don’t get them stirred up. Use a little diplomacy. [OMG My Money commentary] such an easy concept, but difficult to practice.
  • Principle Two: Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, you’re wrong

Chapter 3: If You’re Wrong, Admit It

  • There’s a certain degree of satisfaction and having the courage to admit one’s errors. It not only clears the air of guilt and defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the error
  • Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes and most fools do, but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes
  • When we’re right, let’s try to win people gently and tactfully to our way of thinking and when we’re wrong and that will be surprisingly often if we’re honest with ourselves, let’s admit our mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm. [OMG My Money commentary] there is no such thing as losing one’s pride when admitting you are wrong. When I have admitted I was wrong, this only gave me more credibility to the other person. As hard it is to admit you are wrong, you have to remember how you make the other person feel.
  • Principle Three: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically

Chapter 4: A Drop of Honey

  • People don’t want to change their minds. They can’t be forced or driven to agree with you or me, but they may possibly be led to if we are gentle and friendly
  • The use of gentleness and friendliness is demonstrated day after day by people who have learned that a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall. [OMG My Money commentary] I have heard of this saying, but to experience this personally is what changed a thought into action.
  • Principle Four: Begin in a friendly way

Chapter 5: The Secret of Socrates

  • In talking with people, don’t begin by discussing the things on which you differ, begin by emphasizing and keep on emphasizing the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end
  • Get the other person saying, yes, yes. Keep your opponent, if possible, from saying no
  • The Socratic Method: based upon on getting a yes, yes response asking questions with which the opponent would have to agree
  • The next time we’re tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, ask a gentle question that will get a yes, yes response
  • Principle Five: Get the other person saying yes, yes immediately

Chapter 6: The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints

  • Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. Ask them questions. If you disagree with them, you may be tempted to interrupt but don’t. [OMG My Money commentary] this goes back to focusing and listening to the other person talk and this ultimately leads to asking more questions.
  • Principle Six: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking

Chapter 7: How to Get Cooperation

  • No one likes to feel he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing, we much prefer to feel that we’re buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our own wishes, our wants, our thoughts
  • Principle Seven: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers

Chapter 8: A Formula that Will Work Wonders for You

  • Remember that other people may be totally wrong, but they don’t think so. Don’t condemn them, any fool can do that. Try to understand them. [OMG My Money commentary] practicing compassion and empathy
  • The success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person’s viewpoint
  • Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you can consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own
  • Seeing things through another person’s eyes may ease tensions when personal problems become overwhelming. [OMG My Money commentary] I found this difficult when the other person is completely set on their point of view, but when this happens, I acknowledge, give my own thoughts, and move on.
  • Principle Eight: Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view

Chapter 9: What Everybody Wants

  • 3/4 of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them and they will love you
  • Principle Nine: Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires

Chapter 10: An Appeal that Everybody Likes

  • In order to change people, appeal to the nobler motives
  • Principle Ten: Appeal to the nobler motives

Chapter 11: The Movies Do It. TV Does It? Why Don’t You Do It?

  • This is the day of dramatization. Merely stating a truth isn’t enough. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic. You have to use showmanship
  • Principle Eleven: Dramatize your ideas

Chapter 12: When Nothing Else Works, Try This

  • The way to get things done is to stimulate competition
  • The most motivating factor, the one facet of the jobs that was most stimulating? The one major factor that motivated people was the work itself. If the work was exciting and interesting, the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job.
  • Principle Twelve: Throw down a challenge

Part Four: Be a Leader – How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

Chapter 1: If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin

  • It’s always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise about our good points. [OMG My Money commentary] I have heard from many including team members that this method is now expected. I refer to this as the sandwich feedback method because you start with a positive, then talk about the negative or opportunity, and finish with another positive to end on a good note. This is not always effective because many can see this coming.
  • Principle One: Begin with praise and honest appreciation

Chapter 2: How to Criticize and Not be Hated for It

  • Many begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement. This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and”
  • An effective way to correct other’s mistakes is….Principle Two: Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly

Chapter 3: Talk about Your Own Mistakes First

  • Admitting one’s own mistakes even when one hasn’t corrected them can help convince somebody to change his behavior
  • Principle Three: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person

Chapter 4: No One Likes to Take Orders

  • Always give people the opportunity to do things themselves. Let them learn from their mistakes
  • Resentment caused by a brash order may last a long time even if the order was given to correct an obviously bad situation
  • Asking questions not only makes an order more palatable, it often simulates the creativity of the person’s who you ask
  • People are more likely to accept an order if they had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued
  • An effective leader will use….Principle Four: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders

Chapter 5: Let the Other Person Save Face

  • A few minutes thought, a considerate word or two, a genuine understanding of the other person’s attitude will go so far to alleviating the sting
  • A real leader will always follow….Principle Five: Let the other person save face

Chapter 6: How to Spur People on to Success

  • Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving. [OMG My Money commentary] I found this effective whether it be for self motivation or a team member. The journey to improvement should be celebrated along the way and encouragement has done wonders for even quicker improvement.
  • When criticism is minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be reinforced
  • Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific it comes across as sincere. [OMG My Money commentary] I focus on being as specific as possible to give others context as to why this person deserves praise.
  • We all crave appreciation and recognition and will do almost anything to get it, but nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery
  • To become a more effective leader of people, apply…Principle Six: praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise

Chapter 7: Give a Dog a Good Name

  • The average person can be led readily if you have his or her respect and if you show that you respect that person for some kind of ability. [OMG My Money commentary] one major lesson learned leading teams is showing respect for the other’s background, experience, or specialty. I have literally had team members tell me that they appreciated when I showed that respect whether I am an expert in that field or not. So many positives have come from simply acknowledging and leveraging when needed the person’s skillset and then backing off to let them run with it.
  • If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics
  • Give them a fine reputation to live up to and they will make prodigious efforts rather than see you disillusioned. [OMG My Money commentary] I am still trying to figure this one out, but I am starting with showing the respect each team member deserves and making sure they understand that whatever they are doing is their domain.
  • If you want to excel in that difficult leadership role of changing the attitude or behavior of others, use….Principle Seven: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to

Chapter 8: Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct

  • Tell your child, your spouse, or your employee that he or she is stupid or dumb at a certain thing, has no gift for it, and is doing it all wrong and you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve
  • Use the opposite technique, be liberal with your encouragement, make the things seem easy to do, let the other person know that you have faith in his ability to do it, that he has an undeveloped flair for it, and he will practice in order to excel.
  • If you want to help others to improve, remember…Principle Eight: Use encouragement, make the fault seem easy to correct

Chapter 9: Making People Glad to Do What You Want

  • Always make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
  • The effective leader should keep the following guidelines in mind when it’s necessary to change attitudes or behavior:
    • Be sincere. Do not promise anything that you cannot deliver. Forget about the benefits to yourself and concentrate on the benefits to the other person
    • Know exactly what it is you want the other person to do
    • Be empathetic. Ask yourself what it is the other person really wants
    • Consider the benefits that person will receive from doing what you suggest
    • Match those benefits to the other person’s wants
    • When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit
  • People are more likely to do what you would like them to do when you use…Principle Nine: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest

Be a leader. A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior

You can check out the entire business book recap series below:

  1. The Richest Man in Babylon book recap – George S. Clason
  2. How to Win Friends and Influence People book recap – Dale Carnegie
  3. Think and Grow Rich book recap – Napoleon Hill
  4. The Tipping Point book recap – Malcolm Gladwell

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